Fuckin’ A!

Fuckin’ A!

I did it again.

I allowed myself to enjoy your company. I allowed you to wrap your arms around me.

I let your lips kiss my forehead. I let your heartbeat race against my body.

Why did you let this happen? Did you not know this effect you had on me?

We were just living in the moment, so why couldn’t those feelings just stay in that moment?

Why did they follow me home?

Now I have to put distance between us, again. Does “again” have to mean “forever” this time?

Fuckin’ A,                                                I hope not.



I wonder how you’ve lived during this time apart.

Did you rise through every challenge life threw at you?

Were there any woman who stood a chance at breaking into your heart?

I stare at you and it’s clear that you grew.

But I’ve always known, even from the start

that  staring  at you is like gazing at a piece of art.

I could see what the entire world knew,

but I wanted to know more than the view.

Two years apart

and you still have a place in my heart.

I still have those “what if” thoughts about you.

What if this could have been more than a screw?

Now here we are again, apart.

I leave with the same feelings in my heart.

But, truly, thank you.

You probably never knew,

that pieces of you helped me change my view.

I hope you continue to grow.

Maybe one day we’ll know…

…what if?…



I’m standing in front of you.

I was hoping that you grew

But that you was nothing but a tall tale.

You would’ve been number three,

But nothing about you grew.

That had me looking at pale.

The Stare

The Stare

My eyes sway to the left, so they may catch a glimpse of the comfort in your soul.

Paused is this moment in time; for just a few seconds I am able to see right into you.

Sitting still,
silence filling the room with our wordless conversations.

You have taken over my thoughts – have I made it into yours?

Tonight I stare with the desire to know more;
know who you are,
know who you think I am,
and know where we are.

My eyes shoot forward, being kicked back into reality.