I did it again.
I allowed myself to enjoy your company. I allowed you to wrap your arms around me.
I let your lips kiss my forehead. I let your heartbeat race against my body.
Why did you let this happen? Did you not know this effect you had on me?
We were just living in the moment, so why couldn’t those feelings just stay in that moment?
Why did they follow me home?
Now I have to put distance between us, again. Does “again” have to mean “forever” this time?
Fuckin’ A, I hope not.
The tall, slender figure holding my heart.
My body is frozen as my eyes watch you squeeze.
Harder and harder.
I cannot stop you.
Do I even want to?
What will happen if I do?
You disappear, leaving me here to pick up the pieces…alone.
My voice explodes into the pillow.
Once perfectly white sheets are now covered with black lines.
Will my eyes ever be dry?
My mind slips into an alternate reality as the sun goes down.
My eyes open with the rising sun, but my soul remains asleep.
Weeks have passed.
Another sunrise wakes me, but not only my eyes this time.
This time I’m open.
To my future.
To my goals.
To my self.
All without you.
I’m standing in front of you.
I was hoping that you grew
But that you was nothing but a tall tale.
You would’ve been number three,
But nothing about you grew.
That had me looking at pale.
Your heart is racing.
Your body is shaking.
The grey gravel catches your eyes.
They close tight, for you are not ready to see the end.
You are not ready to give up.
Why did you jump?
The gravel is now inches from you.
It’s your last chance to face it all, to be strong.
Your eyes open.
The grey cotton sheets catch you.
Tomorrow is here.